Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
