What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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