the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Four minutes until I can fart!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize