Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
