remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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