We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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