my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
