porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I lost the right to judge tonight
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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