TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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