did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
