I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize