that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
