Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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