I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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