some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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