i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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