Well apparently he's into motor boating.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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