just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
