he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
