What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
