I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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