there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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