Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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