Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize