I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
