I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
