you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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