You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
