Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
