my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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