whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
