Where is the hickey?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
