I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
