Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
