i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
