Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
