i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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