I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
