i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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