The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
