two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
