We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
