left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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