I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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