look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
