i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
