you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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