im having a threesome with these popsicles
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Randomize
