fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wish i was in the wii world.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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