is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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