you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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