What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
