It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
