Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
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Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
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I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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