pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
