He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
