Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
