Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I hate your face

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(503): View more from Oregon

There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever

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(303): View more from Colorado

It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.

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(240): View more from Maryland

and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.

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(330): View more from Ohio

At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�

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(707): View more from California

I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.

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(310): View more from California

Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.

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