I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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