My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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