i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize