Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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